Q and A 2: PG Lady owner shouts at me

Q. My paying-guest owner shouts in a high-ptich. How should I deal with this nuisance ?

A. People are good at passing on their baggage to us, and we do the same to others. When your owner screams at you in high pitch she is doing it out of her own ignorance about the problem she is trying to address. You have decided that 'I dont like high pitch'. And that becomes a problem for you. If you can question that 'why I dont like high pitch?, what made me like this?' and be with that question without judging, then there is a possibility that you can find a way out. We very easily put blame on other the way he/she is, we don't like to question our assumptions. If you consciously observe, we are fully loaded with assumptions that we have arrived at due to our prior experience or due to believing in somebody's statement. That prohibits us to see the way somebody "is". We see him/her through our filters of assumptions. Assumption is our own creation and unfortunately we are caught up in it very badly. The onus of change, if any, is not on other; its on me. The other may or may not change but at the least I become free of the way the other is. This is one of the ways to deal with such situations.

Q and A 1

Q. The name of the college that I decided to join and name of the college I landed up joining is same. I came to know only after my admission that I am in a wrong college. I want to get out of this college and join the other one, I am frustrated here. How should I get out of this problem? -Raju

A. There are 101 ways of getting into a problem and 101 ways to get out of it. One of the ways of getting stuck into a problem is, hating it out of our frustration. In that case there is no chance that you will find an exit route that you are looking for. Somewhere you don’t believe that you can make an impact of your existence on college's existence, you want college to make an impact on you and you think the other college that you missed would have made that impact. What guarantee do you give that that college would have given you what you want? Please don’t compare friends' experiences in that college. Are you aware that you are caught up in your own creation of ‘this college is wrong place to be in and that college is right?’ Boss, there will always be gap between what you are expecting and what you are getting. Your mind can only reach to what you can expect and life will take you to those destinations which mind never ever thought of. That is true for not only you but all of us. It’s true about my expectations from my wife, children, from colleges that I work for. How gracefully can you handle the gap between expectations and result or how much you get trapped in the gap is in your hands. In short, I am asking you to love what you hate now and what you hate itself will show you many exit routes that you are failing to see.