Chalo Bangalore, A Family Get-together

|| Shree Swami Samarth ||

23rd June to 31st October 2019, Preparation and Welcome:

We were 47 family members in all, who met from Thursday, 31st October to Sunday, 3rd November in Bangalore for a family get-together. 13 drove from Ratnagiri, 27 flew from Mumbai, one came by road from Pune and one by train from Kanyakumari and five of us residing in Bangalore.  Get-togethers are not new to my family of 92.  There are two sisters who have that keeda (itch) and despite their busy schedule and health related hiccups they keep pulling us all together.  On 23rd June for one such get-together four members of my immediate family flew to Mumbai from Bangalore to my Uncle Anna Kaka’s place in Goregaon.  There it was decided that we all meet in Bangalore from 31st October to 3rd November.  We did video calls to our siblings in Ratnagiri, got an initial ‘go’ from them.  With our arms open Harshada, my wife, and I said “aa jaao” (“come over”).  The list was made right there in Anna Kaka’s place and planning began.  Health not permitting, Sunil Bhauji (my brother-in-law) agreed because my doctor-cousin Dr.Ravi Anna was coming; Shubha Akka and family cancelled their Tadoba National Park trip and were instead going to join the get-together.  42 family members were getting ready to travel and we five in Bangalore were getting ready to host them.  The ones with health needing attention comprised of three heart patients, one on the way to beating stroke, one surviving spinal illness with difficulty in climbing steps and two aged; but one common thing in all of them was their amazing energy and intent.  There were four doctors (two practising, two non-practising).  Leaves for one got approved a day before flying.  Family members accommodated each other in indescribable ways so that the turnout could be maximum.  There were many who could not join.  One nephew could not come because he was heading to Myanmar for a doctors dental workshop on those days, another for a business visit to Delhi.  One sister-in-law and nephew could not come because they were expecting a little one sooner rather than later.  One sister from Kolhapur is taking care of her health after a prolonged illness.  One sister and four nieces were busy with their family and chores; nevertheless, one of them sent her daughter, Khushi.

What an experience it was, just to plan those four days for 47 of us.  Harshada and I rediscovered Bangalore in the process.  We found Gandhi Bazar (Baswangudi) area as an appropriate location for eateries, silk, incenses, attar (perfume) shopping, all of it in one locality.  In last two+ decades that we’re in Bangalore, we had never been to V V Puram food street.  In our pilot trip there, my phone was stolen by six-ganged-up men who disguised themselves as clients at Rajasthan Paratha Point.  We didn’t feel like taking family members there for dining and instead stuck to Gandhi Bazar.  With an idea of one-day-outing for family we did one such exploratory trip to Shivansamudram waterfalls in the beginning of October.  Harshada and I chose to go there by Ola Outstation which broke down after reaching there☹.  We came back by a KSRTC bus and spent just Rs107/- per head to come back home instead of spending Rs 6000/- for a backup car organised by Ola.  We dropped the idea of taking the family to Shivansamudram with dearth of water in the waterfall.  Then a thought came that we should do Bangalore sightseeing and visit places like Bangalore Fort, Lalbagh, Indian Music Experience museum, etc.  Logistically it would have been difficult to have 47 people do sightseeing.  Instead, we chose an overnight outing at a resort in Nelamangala, which would have given us a chance to stay together, the prime intent of get-togethers.

Didi, my elder sister, came from Kanyakumari on 26th Oct, 2019, where she’s working as a volunteer in the Swami Vivekanand Kendra.  Chirantan, my elder son, went to pick her up at Bangalore City Railway station.  My mom was flying the same morning from Mumbai to Bangalore.  I picked her up at the KIA Bangalore Airport.  We celebrated Diwali with my sister after a millennium. Diwali was over on 29th October.  Aroma and taste of Diwali goodies were still in the air.  In the early hours of Thursday, 31st October Anagha, my cousin came with her family.  Later a flight with a batch of 19 landed at 10:00am and Ola/Uber’s started reaching home one-by-one for lunch.  Meanwhile, Harshada had made breakfast of stuffed-grilled-sandwich for ten of us who were at home that morning.

Our planned lunch was peas-potato gravy and chapatis.  But, your plan-A doesn’t always work.  The North Karnataka restaurant (Sri Venkateshwara Hotel) from JP Nagar 7th Phase who had promised us to give lunch that day backed out two days before as their hotel was closed for Diwali.  We knew another food supplier in Jayanagar, near Pattabhi Rama temple from whom we went for cauliflower-potato gravy and chapatis at the last moment.  There were puranpolis and coconut-polis aka holige from Holige Mane with lunch - rice, dal, koshimbir and papad, made at home.  We stuck to our maths of 333gms cooked food per person for meals and 225gms cooked food per person for breakfast.  This maths always helps us avoid a lot of food wastage.  By the time all had arrived, Amruta Padgaonkar, my niece, helped paste various sign boards like “secure your feet firmly in the bathroom”, “don’t waste food”, “use water responsibly”, “dry waste” and “wet waste” at home.  I had sent a message on our “Chalo Blr” WhatsApp group that we would be avoiding the use of tissue papers for environmental reasons and informed my relatives not to bring jewellery, as it would be difficult to keep an eye on it, especially at the resort.

As family members were trickling in, Pappa offered a coconut in front of our pooja-ghar and recited a ‘gaarana’ (गाराणं), a humble request to the existence for having an auspicious and safe stay for all the family members.

Chit-chat after arrival, must be about 60-70 dB average sound level :)

While all Mumbaikars had their lunch, Ratnagirikars had started from Hospet the same morning and reached home at 2:00pm.  They had started from Ratnagiri two days ago and did Hampi sightseeing before they joined us.  I told them to leave their bags in their cars.  46 family members were at home viz. 11 sisters, 8 brothers-in-law, 4 brothers, 4 sister-in-laws, 4 nieces, 2 nephews (and one was to join on 1^st November), 2 daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law, 1 grand-daughter, 2 uncles, 1 aunt, Pappa, Aai, Harshada, Chirantan, Arnav and me.  We were expecting at least 20+ to stay at home. We had emptied our wardrobes and shoe rack for them and dumped our clothes and chappals/shoes in travel bags which normally lie empty on the loft.  After a sumptuous lunch, which we finished at 3:30pm, I dropped Ratnagirikars at HM, Santoor apartments.  We had booked a flat there for 24 of our guests, 5kms away from home.  OYO rooms were working out very costly, we couldn’t get an empty flat in our apartment complex and one which we got didn’t meet our expectations; another empty flat in Nandi Gardens was without water and electricity as it wasn’t used for many years with its owner (my friend) in the US; dormitories available on Airbnb were far.  While all this search was going on in August/September a companion in my office cab, Rayagond, came to the rescue and managed to get us a furnished flat for two nights in HM, Santoor, a bit far but very comfortable.  Our organising committee, comprising two keeda-sisters Jyoti Gurav (Mai) and Shubhada Kavle (Tai), had told Harshada and me not to buy any dry snacks.  While coming family members brought homemade chiwda, chakli, besan ladoo, moong ladoo and bought kachori, farsan, lasun shev, fulwadi from Mumbai and bakarwadi from Pune.  The nashta/snack basket in which this was kept open for consumption, must have been a solid 10-12kgs when it was filled.

When I need extra djembes for my drum-jamming sessions I take them from Snehadhara Foundation.  They were closed due to Diwali vacation.  One of their employees, Arun, had come back just on the same day my guests arrived (31st Oct). He helped me with 13 djembes in addition to my 15 odd.  With these djembes we had planned a jamming session in the evening but as all were tired due to long travels we directly started the formal session of ‘Fishpond and Felicitation’ in the evening at 7:30pm.  We 46 gathered in our apartment’ community hall, women in sarees and men in kurtas.  Shubha Tai and Jyoti Mai took the stage, welcomed all and invited Aai and Lata Kaki to light the lamp.  They kept the mood light by sharing traits of family members in a “fishpond” way.  One family member was introduced this way:

Devanand Award: “Friends, this award is very special and most honoured. Maintaining yourself well in today's stressful life is no small feat. He travels for his business and work, not in an AC car, but by various means such as buses, boats, trains.  Despite all this hard work he looks very young, even today.  At the time of searching for a bride for their son's wedding in the near future, the question is where to hide him so that the prospects do not misunderstand him to be an alliance. The Devanand Award goes for such an eternal personality and his name is …. :)”

There was a lot of hard work that had gone into creating this script.  Towards the end Dipa aka Shraddha Kulkarni, my cousin from Ratnagiri, took the stage and succinctly introduced seniors from the family.  She invited different family members to give away the fish-pond and Family Gaurav Puraskars (Family Eminence Awards). A few awardees thanked other family members for organising such events and get-togethers and for the awards that were conferred on them.  There were peals of laughter and moistened eyes in that formal environment.  As I am inching towards my 50s they took an opportunity to don a Puneri pheta (turban to be tied) on my head and celebrate even that which was nowhere close to my birthdate.  Everyone had become a cameraman and camerawoman and our family WhatsApp group was flooding with pics and videos of events which were happening.  Amruta was our official photographer.  Jyoti Mai had brought many orange phetas from Mumbai but due to lack of practice to tie them on the heads we left all the heads without phetas.  A 4kg choco-fantasy cake which I cut was gobbled up in no time.  It was time for dinner.  Women had cooked misal for dinner.  We bought pakka Bombay paav from a chat vendor next to Big Market, opposite JP Nagar KIA5 bus stop.  We forgot the curd in the fridge, which someone realised a bit late.  The juicy misal-paav with farsan, onion, coriander and curd was a big hit.  I announced the schedule of the next three days so that people could plan accordingly.   Four more Edwankars, two Jomrajs and one Mhatre joined 13 Ratnagirikars in a flat in HM, Santoor after a tiring day.  Narvekars chose to stay in OYO which was 1.2km away but was not as they expected it to be.  Though they wanted to stay with us at home OYO wouldn’t give back money for the days you’ve blocked the rooms.

1st November 2019, Special lunch, Drum-circle and Shopping:

You get the best of coffees opposite HM, Santoor.  Family members who stayed there had their breakfast there on 1st November while women at home cooked yummy and nutty sabudana khichdi.  Edwankars went to Bannerghatta National Park whereas Narvekars went to Lalbagh that morning.  They all joined for special lunch.  Chicken masala was cooked at home for 33 non vegetarians and paneer butter masala was bought from Nammura for 14 vegetarians.  Set dosa goes well with chicken masala and pooris with paneer butter masala, which too were bought from Nammura, now called Arogya Ahara.  He sells items in kilograms.  We had bought quarter-quarter kgs of all these samples and tried to our satisfaction.  We had consciously chosen to buy chapatis from North Karnataka Hotel as Nammura doesn't make the chapatis the way we want.  Women had prepared sour kokam-saar to complement with rice.   I’d bought special Mysore Pak from UP Bhavan from my office campus in Electronic City.  All loved to have this sweet, though a bit heavy to digest.  This tasty lunch would be incomplete without a decorated plate of 60 masala paans with thandak, gulkand and cherry.

Special Lunch

We had booked our apartment’ community hall for two days.  The Ratnagiri gang, which was led by Anand in their journey, wanted to go to Sri Sri Ravishankar Ashram in the evening.  So, we did a drum-circle session for about 20, including the gang, before lunch in the community hall.  Drumming helps a facilitator raise the energy of the participants in no time because they are all in action.  After intense drumming we did creative visualisation. It had touched a few very deeply, tears were rolling down the cheeks of a few.  This family gathering was not only helping get the family together but also family-members get in touch with themselves.  We had one more drum-jamming session at about 5pm, which came out very different from the one in the morning.  We did expansion-meditation after the energy rose to a peak in which we slowly expanded our awareness to touch the nothingness in the cosmos and returned. 

Ready for a drum-jamming session

I had sent a list of Google-pins for 4-5 important shopping places in Gandhi Bazar and a few in Jayanagar.  Family members got into their respective Ola/Ubers and hit the places for shopping.  While Arnav stayed at home to help seniors; Harshada, Chirantan and I accompanied three different groups of family members and helped them explore maximum shops in minimum time because we had done homework of going to these places and got to know them, their specialties with the help of my office colleague who is a resident of that area.  Many chose to walk on DVG road and window shop local items.  We few ate butter-gulkand a local recipe and reached the other end, towards Netkallappa Circle, to eat South Indian specialties in a darshini there.  People loved the onion-uthappa, masala dosa and the coffee.  Seniors at home had kokam-saar and bhaat (rice).  Instructions were given to everybody to keep their bags ready to go to Ankit Vista resort the next day as Mumbaikars were to go to the airport directly from there and NH48 to Kolhapur-Mumbai was only 11 kms away for Ratnagirikars to drive back home.  Come what may, family members who wanted to be part of this get-together came.  My nephew, Satej, finished his 3rd year engineering viva-voce, rushed to Mumbai airport, flew to Bangalore and joined us on the second day of the majestic gathering.  In fact, two families had suffered a personal loss of their close family members; one a few weeks before and one just while entering the Mumbai airport on the way to Bangalore. In spite of that, they joined us. From the confirmed list, Rajan Vahini, my eldest sister-in-law, could not join due to her recently developed medical condition and a niece from Ratnagiri chose to stay at home.

Typically, winter in Bengaluru starts to set in October and grows into November.  We had spoken to a vendor and had got an estimate for mattress, bedsheet, pillow, pillow cover, sheet to pullover and a blanket.  He had quoted Rs.75/- for a set without blankets and Rs.100/- with blankets.  With three days remaining for the guests to arrive, rain not budging and winter setting in we went to this vendor again.  He noticed our desperation and raised his rate to 150/- per set.  We ditched him and went to VPM Tents near Jayanagar 9th Block.  We hired 16 sets of mattresses and related items.  There were long spells of heavy rains during Diwali.  It was pouring heavily even when Anagha and family came from airport in the wee hours of the morning.  The temperature had dropped to 17degC that night.  But from the day our hot guests :) arrived the rain ran away, the temperature was warm in the day and pleasant in the nights.

Evening Shopping at Gandhi Bazar

A few places which we explored that evening:

1)    Kancheepuram Handloom Silk https://maps.app.goo.gl/LwUPBo4Fb837TdYF8

2)    Rajaram's https://maps.app.goo.gl/WbZ3FSiGMJKEARdU7

3)    Mysore Silk Showroom and Suvarna Fabrics in the basement https://maps.app.goo.gl/ojsP87r5c7913mrm7

4)    Ladies Wear House - Silks & Sarees https://maps.app.goo.gl/EGuhJTxnLAJRSd8s5

5)    Sree Leathers https://maps.app.goo.gl/tux3WzmCr6bdmcEx7

2nd November 2019, To Ankit Vista Resort:

The next morning after returning 13 djembes to Snehadhara Foundation, we bought 8kgs of masala dosa (1kg fits 6 masala dosas), 1.5kgs of vada, ½ kg idly and 1kg chutney from Nammura for breakfast.  We ran out of chutney. A similar shortage had happened with set-dosas we bought to eat with chicken the day before.  Garlic chutney came out of the shelf and family finished their breakfast with it.  After a nice hot chai, (chai is a different topic of discussion for my family which will need one whole page, I shall reserve that for another blog post), we did a mammoth task of clicking a family photo at home.  We started moving towards a 49-seater bus which was taking us to Ankit Vista resort.  The bus driver Imran was not confident of bringing the bus inside the apartment complex even after Anand and Ashish from our “Ratnagiri-department-of-vehicles-experts” tried to convince him.  They dumped all the bags in their cars and took them to the bus 200m away, which was parked near the apartment entrance.  We did formalities of breaking a coconut after circling it over the bus and cars for a safe journey.

A group pic before starting for Ankit Vista.

VPM Tent’ van wouldn’t come on 2nd Nov, which we were waiting for, to return 16sets of mattresses and accompanying items.  We told the bus and two other cars to start off at 11:30am while Ashish’s and my cars started after the rented things were given back at about 11:45am.  I had three seasoned senior citizens in my car.  Sunil Bhauji, a professional goldsmith, shared some experiential tidbits from his childhood and Dr. Kaka would add an affirmation about knowing those relatives, friends and places which Sunil Bhauji was mentioning.  I shared my bits of how a spiritual guru, Anant Prabhu Walawalkar, had foretold my connection with Bangalore and how I got placed three months after his telling in Bharat Electronics, Bangalore.  The bus and four cars reached Ankit Vista one after the other at 1:30pm.  The bus was too big to take us till our rooms, in Shakti Courtyard dormitory.  We took a while to settle as Ankit Vista staff helped us lug our luggage from the closest point in the Ankit Vista football ground to the Shakti Courtyard.  We as a family of 4 and Pappa had visited Ankit Vista more than a month ago to get a feel of how the place is.  We liked, actually loved their dormitory the way it was.  It had two huge rectangular rooms housing 20 single-beds each and two legs which connects these two had washbasins, toilets and bathrooms. There was a huge sit out outside these dormitories where chairs were arranged along the periphery of the space with a 3 + 2 seater cane furniture.  We ate lunch in our pilot trip to Ankit Vista, had not liked it much and had given this feedback to the manager.  When we found that the dorms were on the 1st floor we booked two rooms without a bathtub in the ground floor for our seniors, especially those who needed assistance.  Our friend Rajiv Radhakrishna helped us negotiate hard on rates at Ankit Vista.  When Harshada and I gave a ‘go’ for hosting, in Mumbai at Anna Kaka’s place, we didn’t know what we are getting into, we had no idea of how many of our family members would turn up.  Our learning was when we take up something big, something that mind cannot crunch and calculate, unconditional help pours from people like Rajiv and Rayagond from unexpected corners.  The budget would have gone totally haywire without them. Sincere thanks to them.

Given a chance, a child in us is ready to pop out :)

We being the biggest group at Ankit Vista that day, had a preference to choose our menu for lunch, evening high tea, snacks, dinner and next day’s breakfast.  Lunch at Ankit Vista was spicy, there was a chilly spice in each grain of rice of veg biryani.  The quality of lunch had risen quite a bit as compared to our pilot visit’ lunch.  We immediately told the kitchen to reduce the spice for dinner.  The non-vegetarians from us told that the non-veg items were good.  After lunch we had a siesta.  The foam in the beds was emitting heat and it was difficult to sleep, still we caught up with a nap.  Some tower fans had to be added to dorms to help increase the coverage of moving fresh air inside.  Swapnil, a staff there, and his mates helped us on every call we did to change a commode seat, add fans, increase the number of cots, and fix cold water coming from gas geysers.

Evening was fresh at 5:30pm and we had high tea with onion pakodas and bread pakodas.  The rain-dance’ shed was waiting for us.  We quickly changed and got into dancing in the sprays of different temperature.  The floor was abrasive enough to avoid a fall while dancing but wasn’t good to dance barefoot.  Swapnil put different Marathi and Hindi dance numbers and before we knew the dark had set in.  We wiped and dried ourselves in our dorms. I felt like pulling out my 14” African djembe and started playing garba beats on it.  I had carried 20-25 pairs of dandiyas, which I use in my drum-jamming sessions.  They slowly came out of the bag and people formed one big circle on the beats of garba.  We have many amateur musicians in family in the form of tabaljis and singers.  They picked different instruments available.  With Dr.Ravi Anna, Nayan Bandhu, Arnav, Anna Kaka and others accompanying on different percussion, the rhythm section ensured that family members danced till they dropped.  Sunil Bhauji and Mai could not contain themselves on the ground floor.  They climbed some 20 steps and joined the beats.  Madhavi Tai took the avtaar of Maa Manju; Teja Tai and Didi impersonated the possessed Devi Aai by going round and round from their waist with their hair let loose, others mocked being their bhakts.  We were rolling on the ground with our stomachs aching due to non-stop laughter.  After a few slow-to-crescendo cycles of drumming and various dance movements we moved on to solo singing by Shubha Akka, Priyanka (my daughter-in-law), Mangal Mai, Geetanjali, Dipa and Abhishek.  They sang laavni, jaagar (songs that indicate something that always stays awake inside us) and gondhal type of traditional Marathi songs.  It was 9:30pm when dinner was waiting for us in Trupti Woods, a well-lit and decorated wooden dining area.  With tune of last song lingering on our minds we reached the dining area.  It was a delicious dinner and neer dosa was the special attraction.  The dining area was practically filled up by my family members.  During lunch and dinner various boxes of Mysore Pak, Besan Ladoos and Kaju Katli from home were doing rounds on different tables and they were finding takers, including other guests at Ankit Vista.  Our howls, roars, shrill voices, whistles and music had disturbed one family in Shakti Courtyard, on the ground floor.  But then they also came upstairs and enjoyed the garba and songs.  We didn’t want to disturb them consciously but the sounds of our presence was overpowering the whole of Ankit Vista.  Dry snacks had to be packed in a plastic gunny bag properly to avoid attracting rodents in the night.

Dormitory at Ankit Vista

Ankit Vista staff had set bonfire and chairs around it for us in the plot next to Shakti Courtyard as they didn’t want our oldies to go far, where they usually light it.  Fire was lit at around 11pm.  Priyanka and Aditya led us all into playing a game of housie and then started ghost stories one after the other, with effects of creaking sounds and hisses in the quietude of the night.  With ghost stories from the older ones to the recent ones, family finished two packets of a smaller version of 5-Star Cadbury chocolates which I’d left outside instead of packing them in the gunny bag.  Three dogs from Ankit Vista campus joined us with their growls to listen to our spooky ghost stories.  This show was stolen by Teja Tai.  Her entry with a new story after someone else’s was over, the variation in her voice, ability to make different sounds with actions kept us glued and ask for more.  We retired into our dormitories at about 1:00am.

Bonfire with scary ghost stories

3rd November 2019, Back Home:

Party gown and formals were meant to be on the night of Saturday, 2nd November, but due to our elongated schedule of dance and dandiya we postponed it to the 3rd morning.  Ratnagirikars wanted to go early so that they reach Ratnagiri at a reasonable time.  We woke up at 7:00am and had bed tea at about 8:00am.  Many ate dry snacks that we had brought.  We got ready and went for breakfast at 9:00am.  Bread Toast, Poori-bhaaji, Poha, Coconut Chutney, Kesari Bhat, Upma, Tea and Coffee were waiting for us.  Women were in colourful party gowns and sarees.  Mobile cameras started doing overtime job as groups started gathering as sisters-only, co-sisters-only, brothers-in-law-only and such.  The position and the angles the photographers were taking to accommodate all of us was a sight to watch.

My great 11 sisters out of the super 13!

Family photo!

After a jumbo family pic we started wrapping up.  There was never a shortage of helping hands to wind up things after any event. Many were thanking Harshada and me for the wonderful program.  Blessings, Love and Grace were an integral part of this whole unfolding and it was clear that this program was happening more than anyone doing it.  Many sisters said that they experienced this type of ‘maaherpan’ (माहेरपण : a warmth that mother gives when her daughter is back from her husband’s home) for the first time.  One sister even told Harshada that from today you are not my sister-in-law, you have become my own sister.  Whenever you need a shoulder to rest your head on, do call on me.  One sister said, “Some debts (ऋण) are such that one should not be free of them.  It's better to be indebted by them.”  Our boys, Harshada and I had and have so many blessings from my family that if I deposit all those blessings in a bank Fixed Deposit, we can pull off such programs just on the interest of those.

14 Ratnagirikars left first in their three cars on a really long drive of 850kms.  Ankit Vista staff helped load our luggage into the bus and it started for Bangalore Airport at 11:15am.  Harshada, Chirantan and Arnav were in the bus with 20 more who were heading to Mumbai by 14:50hrs flight.  Komal, my daughter-in-law was flying to Pune; Pappa and Anna Kaka to Udupi.  After dropping them, Harshada took the remaining gang of ten back home on the same bus.  I was in our car with Dr.Kaka, Sunil Bhauji and Mai.  This time, on the way back, it was my turn to share stories of my trips to Kailash Mansarovar, Girnar, Kumbh Mela, and the influence of people like Guruji Vinay Vinekar, Pt.Shyamkant Barve, Isha Yoga, Rajesh Pardeshi, Moksh Linga and my GBS experience.  We 4 reached home at 1:30pm.  Harshada helped order uthappa and idly for us from Swiggy from her bus.  The bus reached home at 4:00pm.  I went in the car to the apartment entrance to bring the luggage from the bus.

At home we were 14 now.  33 had left.  We were not in a mood to cook food.  In the four days that our family was with us we had struck a balance between the type of food cooked at home, food bought from outside and menu we chose at Ankit Vista to maintain variety.  While I was gathering different simple musical instruments for one more jamming session Chirantan-Arnav ordered Mojo pizza for 14 of us.  Chirantan held beat for us with a mesmerising flow of chords on his acoustic guitar.  We dabbled with boomwhackers (tuned plastic pipes) and then moved to cymbals, dandiya, tambourine, sound-shapes, djembes each, and each one playing something rhythmic that merged into Chiru’s progression of chords.  A beautiful music got created which we enjoyed for some time and ended in the resonance of a Tibetan singing bowl.  Pizza arrived just when we were hungry.  We ate to our heart’s content.  An important thing that family always complements is no-wastage-of-food.  There were times when food was leftover which we gave to apartment security guards but there were no half-eaten plates left.  Harshada and I made best use of google-keep, a collaborative to-do list software.  We used to take a pic of Pappa’s to-do list and paste it into google-keep as well.  Especially in the last two weeks it helped us in follow ups on innumerable things which otherwise would have been impossible to manage.

This get-together connected four generations.  This was a program which helped us, a family of four, being far away from Maharashtra for more than two decades, connect deeply with the rest of our family members.  Members who had never hit the dance floor had joined us in rain-dance. Our son-in-law Suraj had become extremely comfortable with us.  Hidden percussion talent shone on Nayan Bandhu and it was heartening to see him soak in it.  There were no lessons of relationship given, it was a field where flowering of relations was happening.  There were warmth in the hands which shook, moistness in the eyes which saw off each other and tears rolled down in the hugs.  Inclusion, joy and fulfillment were happening; quietly.  What would one do if she or he was expecting their 40+ loved ones come home? That is exactly what we did to make our family's stay comfortable and memorable.  Grace was with us, it was dancing with us and it had undoubtedly taken over this whole happening.  We were beautifully witnessing it!  Our neighbours gave compliments that our guests were very organised.  And our guests passed on a thanking note to our apartment neighbours for bearing with us for those three days.

A week before the program, I told my spiritual master Rajesh Pardeshi, and incidentally my engineering batchmate, to bless this get-together.  I told him “Stage is set for a get-together of about 48 family members from 31st October to 3rd November.  Harshada and I seek your blessings.”  He said, “Of course, it will be a joy for everyone, in the end that is what counts, nothing else, no matter what.  The greatest joy explodes in service to others, accommodating everything and everyone.  All the auspiciousness and joy.  Just go with the flow.”  And this is exactly what happened.

What we couldn’t do was 1) A few wanted to go to our children's school CFL, which they had heard about so much from us since the last 13 years and which was not far from Ankit Vista.  We couldn’t go there due to our packed schedule.  2) We were 11 sisters and 5 brothers.  Bhaubij was celebrated only a few days ago.  We wanted to have sisters apply the scented powder (ubtan), massage brothers well and give a hot water bath followed by an arti.  We couldn’t do this as our fun was running against time.  3) We didn’t find time to jump into Ankit Vista’s swimming pool.  4) We couldn’t have Dr.Ravi Anna play keyboard and play games he had planned.  Knowing the history of breast cancer in the family, he wanted to share the importance of yearly mammography for the women in the family. 4) We wanted to do the akhanda naamasmaran of Swami Samarth for an hour (uninterrupted recitation of “Shri Guru Swami Samartha Jay Jay Swami Samartha, Maharaj Shri Guru Swami Samartha Jay Jay Swami Samartha”, in various tunes) but that also eluded us. 5) We couldn’t go to Cauvery Emporium to explore Karnataka Handicrafts due to paucity of time.  There were so many things that we did and so many that we couldn’t.

There were many things that we could have done better.  We could have pushed the mattress pickup van to come earlier, knowing that Sarakki Signal, where we stay, is notorious on Saturdays.  With that we could have reached Ankit Vista an hour earlier.  Web-checkin was not done in advance and four family members had to wait outside the boarding area as the flight was overbooked.  Good that they got seats at the last moment in the same flight.  I was expecting a 49-seater AC bus to go from home to Ankit Vista and to airport from there, but a non-AC one turned up.  There were many such shortfalls which family quietly absorbed.

“Reached home” WhatsApp messages started coming in from Mumbai, Udupi and Pune.  Ratnagirikars reached at 5:00am the next day.  Sunil Bhauji and family left Bangalore on 5th November. On 6th Chinmay gave us the good news of the divine arrival of our 93rd family member, my granddaughter.  Dr.Kaka and Kaki left on 7th and Didi on 9th November.  Everybody has got back to their routine, just that a silken thread which had held us together has gotten us closer to each other and to ourselves.

The intent of this writing was to instigate a “sulemani keeda” (itch, a crazy urge) in you, the reader, to try to get your families together.  There is no joy like such a hosting. It's like becoming an unconditional mother to your own people for a few days which opens up a beautiful space in you!

10 Organising Takeaways:

1. Stick to the cooked food estimate of 333gms for meals and 225gms of breakfast per person.  The art is in breaking down these into correct quantity of chapati, sabji, dal, rice, dessert and idly, chutney etc.
2. Visit all the places where you want to take your group to and mentally walk with them through these places.  You will land up cancelling a few of these places from your list or will make alterations to accommodate a few new things for needs of the group members.  E.g. when we went to Ankit Vista we found that the dormitory is on the first floor and our oldies wouldn't be able to climb the steps.  We booked two rooms for them with tap/showers (without bathtub) in the bathroom. When we saw the 49 seater bus, we carried a stool to create a baby step to get into the bus.
3. Many people don't read your messages/emails fully.  If you want to ask or tell anything important, pick up the phone and talk to them.
4. While ordering multiple items on different dates from the same vendor, ensure that they don't swap and give dosas on the day you wanted medu vada and vice versa.  Verify the delivery date details and the list of items on the advance payment receipt.
5. Negotiate hard in places like resorts.  10% discount is the minimum you should get.  If the resort is far away be sure to note where the closest hospital or doctor is.  Carry a basic medical kit.
6. You can't satisfy everyone's needs.  Learn to say NO genuinely and gently; and justify when really required.
7. You alone can't do everything.  When people are around, judge what they can do and delegate.  Stay flexible in your expectations.
8. Your willingness and enthusiasm will drive the show.  Any crack in willingness will show up.  If you are taking such a project, throw yourself completely into it.
9. Plan the get-together day-wise and activity-wise.  Have a mix of formal and informal sessions.  Have Plan-B where required.  Involve children, they will surprise you.
10. Make liberal use of e-tools like WhatsApp, Google-sheets, Google-keep, calendar-reminders for coordination, communication and checklists.

Appendix:

List of vendors we approached:

1)    Sri Venkateshwara Hotel, J P Nagar 7th Phase: +91-9900873715, +91-8792891307 (for North Karnataka food)

2)    North Karnataka Foods, Near Pattabhi Rama Temple, Jayanagar: +91-9448489840

3)    Arogya Ahaara, 9th Cross, J P Nagar: +91-9448090152, +91-8277891811 (food in kilograms)

4)    Varsha Vanpal: +91-9742814239 (best Maharashtrian food, on a costlier side)

5)    UP Bhavan Sweets:+91-9980196722, http://www.upbhavansweets.in/

6)    Vinod Pav-wala, J P Nagar 6th Phase: +91-9036706248, +91-9110627985

7)    New Holige Mane, 2nd Main, Jayanagar 7th Block: +91 9980013289, +91-9743433640 (for variety of puran polis)

8)    Rajesh Paanwala, 9th Cross, J P Nagar: +91-9742172470

Our brief programme structure was as follows:

31Oct, Thu:

Arrival at home by 1pm

1pm: Lunch and rest

5-6pm: Drum jamming session

6-9pm: Fishpond and Felicitation

9-10pm: Cake cutting and Dinner

1st Nov, Fri:

9am: Tea and chit-chat

10am: Breakfast

1pm: Non-veg Lunch

2pm: Interested people go for sightseeing (list mentioned below)

5pm: Interested people go for shopping to Gandhi Bazar

9pm: Simple dinner. Shoppers eat at popular Gandhi Bazar eateries

10pm: Pack bags for next day outing

2nd Nov, Sat:

8am: Bath and breakfast 

10am :Start for Ankit Vista (https://www.ankitvista.com/) resort  in a private bus with bags

(we take Ratnagiri’ cars and our car also)

12pm: Reach Ankit Vista and settle

1pm: Lunch

2-5pm: Indoor games, Swimming, Rain-dance

5pm: High Tea

6-9pm: Cultural Evening

9pm: Dinner

10pm: Bonfire and Ghost stories

3rd Nov, Sun:

8am: Bath and breakfast

11am: Mumbai/Pune-family start for Airport by private bus (Bangalore team goes to drop them)

11am: Ratnagiri-family head to NH4 (11km)

11am: Car takes a few back home

Sightseeing places you could go by Ola/Uber

1. Music Museum https://www.indianmusicexperience.org/ (4km, 15mins)

2. Sri Sri Ravishankar Ashram (11km, 30mins)

3. Bangalore Palace (14km, 1+hr)

4. HAL Aeroplane Museum (19km, 1.5hr)