Tuesday, September 21, 2010

“Divide by Zero” Exception

Computer hardware cannot do a “divide by zero” operation. It throws an exception on this limitation. If a non-zero number is divided by zero the result is infinity. And infinity is what a computer cannot handle, is not designed to handle.

Can we humans handle infinity?

The other day I called up somebody for some information. After half an hour I called up the same person and asked something more. She shot back and said, “Can’t you ask all your questions together?” I got really very upset with the way she presented herself and was blasting me. After disconnecting the line I was feeling like giving it back to her. So, before the phone call and after it I was a very different person. I got to hear what I was not expecting. One “me” was on the thought-ride of what I was expecting, which wouldn’t have made me angry and other “me” was on what had happened and had made me angry. These two “me’s” were struggling with each other and with the lady who pressed the unknown button in me. I had divided myself into two viz. of “what should be” (my expectation) and “what is” (reality). This is just a conscious division within me. I don’t know how many such unconscious divisions do I comprise of. Each of this division or a fragment consumes energy in different direction because of the struggle within. If there are such N divisions then I am dividing myself into ½^N fragments. The more I become conscious of these divisions there is a possibility of integration of these fragments into one whole. Then I divide myself into ONE. When I get what I don’t expect I can stay calm because ME/1 = ME. I am just ok.

If I can go beyond just being ‘ok’ with the situation and start accepting the way it is then ‘I’ am becoming smaller (not standing out). Then ME/0.5 = 2xME, ME/0.25 = 4xME. If I ‘fall’ in love with the situation (the way I am and the way the lady who blasted me is) then ‘I’ start tending to zero, tending to nothing. The moment I am in total, in absolute love with the situation I start tending to infinity. ME/0 = Infinite. The same situation which got me into insanity and aggression can get me into an ecstasy. Do I divide myself by shattering my self into infinite small pieces, or by integrating it into ONE or by disintegrating my self to ZERO? Isn’t it taking me from being choiceless to having infinite choices?

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