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23rd June to 31st October 2019, Preparation and Welcome:
We were 47 family members in all, who met from Thursday,
31st October to Sunday, 3rd November in Bangalore for a family
get-together. 13 drove from Ratnagiri, 27 flew from Mumbai, one came by road from Pune and one by train from Kanyakumari and five
of us residing in
Bangalore. Get-togethers are not new to
my family of 92. There are two sisters
who have that keeda (itch) and
despite their busy schedule and health related hiccups they keep pulling us all
together. On 23rd June for one such
get-together four members of my
immediate family flew to Mumbai from Bangalore to
my Uncle Anna Kaka’s place in Goregaon. There
it was decided that we all meet in Bangalore from 31st October to 3rd
November. We did video calls to our
siblings in Ratnagiri, got an initial ‘go’ from them. With our arms open Harshada, my wife, and I
said “aa jaao” (“come over”). The list
was made right there in Anna Kaka’s place and planning began. Health not
permitting, Sunil Bhauji (my brother-in-law) agreed because my doctor-cousin Dr.Ravi
Anna was coming; Shubha Akka and family cancelled their Tadoba National Park
trip and were instead going to join the get-together. 42 family members were getting ready to
travel and we five in Bangalore were getting
ready to host them. The ones with health
needing attention comprised of three heart
patients, one on the way to beating stroke, one surviving spinal illness with difficulty in climbing steps
and two aged; but one common thing in all of
them was their amazing energy and intent. There were four doctors (two practising, two non-practising). Leaves for one
got approved a day before flying. Family
members accommodated each other in indescribable ways so that the turnout could
be maximum. There were many who could
not join.
One nephew could not come because he was heading to Myanmar for a
doctors dental workshop on those days, another for a business visit to
Delhi. One sister-in-law and nephew
could not come because they were expecting a little one sooner rather than
later. One sister from Kolhapur is
taking care of her health after a prolonged illness. One sister and four nieces were busy with
their family and chores; nevertheless, one of them sent her daughter, Khushi.
What an experience it was, just to plan those four days for 47 of us.
Harshada and I rediscovered Bangalore in the process. We found Gandhi Bazar (Baswangudi) area as an
appropriate location for eateries, silk, incenses, attar (perfume) shopping,
all of it in one locality. In last two+
decades that we’re in Bangalore, we had never been to V V Puram food street. In our pilot trip
there, my phone was stolen by six-ganged-up
men who disguised themselves as clients at Rajasthan Paratha Point. We
didn’t feel like taking family members there for dining and instead stuck to Gandhi Bazar. With an idea of one-day-outing for family we
did one such exploratory trip to Shivansamudram waterfalls in the beginning of October. Harshada and
I chose to go there by Ola Outstation which broke down after reaching there☹ . We came back by a KSRTC bus
and spent just Rs107/- per head to come back home instead
of spending Rs 6000/- for a backup car organised by Ola. We dropped the
idea of taking the family to Shivansamudram with dearth of water in the
waterfall. Then a thought came that we
should do Bangalore sightseeing and visit places like Bangalore Fort, Lalbagh, Indian
Music Experience museum,
etc. Logistically it would have been difficult to have 47 people do
sightseeing. Instead, we chose an overnight outing at a resort in
Nelamangala, which would have given us a chance to stay together, the prime
intent of get-togethers.
Didi, my elder sister, came from Kanyakumari on 26th Oct,
2019, where she’s working as a volunteer in the Swami
Vivekanand Kendra. Chirantan, my elder son, went to pick her up at Bangalore
City Railway station. My mom was flying
the same morning from Mumbai to Bangalore. I picked her up at the KIA
Bangalore Airport. We celebrated Diwali
with my sister after a millennium. Diwali was over on 29th October. Aroma and taste of Diwali goodies were still in the air. In the early hours of Thursday,
31st October Anagha, my cousin came with her family. Later a
flight with a batch of 19 landed at 10:00am and Ola/Uber’s started reaching
home one-by-one for lunch. Meanwhile,
Harshada had made breakfast of stuffed-grilled-sandwich for ten of us who were at home that morning.
Our planned lunch was peas-potato gravy and chapatis.
But, your plan-A doesn’t always work.
The North Karnataka restaurant (Sri Venkateshwara Hotel) from JP Nagar
7th Phase who had promised us to give lunch that day backed out two days before as their hotel was closed for Diwali. We
knew another food supplier in Jayanagar, near Pattabhi Rama temple from whom we
went for cauliflower-potato gravy and chapatis at the last moment. There were puranpolis and coconut-polis aka holige from Holige Mane with lunch -
rice, dal, koshimbir and papad, made at
home. We stuck to our maths of 333gms cooked food per person for meals
and 225gms cooked food per person for breakfast. This maths always helps us avoid a lot of
food wastage. By the time all had
arrived, Amruta Padgaonkar, my niece, helped paste various sign boards like “secure
your feet firmly in the bathroom”, “don’t waste food”, “use water responsibly”,
“dry waste” and “wet waste” at home. I had sent a message on our “Chalo
Blr” WhatsApp group that we would be avoiding
the use of tissue papers for environmental reasons and informed my relatives not to bring jewellery, as it would be difficult to keep an eye on it, especially at the resort.
As family members were trickling in, Pappa offered a coconut
in front of our pooja-ghar and recited a ‘gaarana’ (गाराणं), a humble request to the existence
for having an auspicious and safe stay for all the family members.
Chit-chat after arrival, must be about 60-70 dB
average sound level :)
While all Mumbaikars had their lunch, Ratnagirikars had
started from Hospet the same morning and reached home at 2:00pm. They had
started from Ratnagiri two days ago and did Hampi sightseeing before they joined us.
I told them to leave their bags in their cars. 46 family members
were at home viz. 11 sisters, 8 brothers-in-law, 4 brothers, 4 sister-in-laws,
4 nieces, 2 nephews (and one was to join on 1st November), 2
daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law, 1 grand-daughter, 2 uncles, 1 aunt, Pappa, Aai,
Harshada, Chirantan, Arnav and me. We were expecting at least 20+ to stay
at home. We had emptied our wardrobes and shoe rack for them and dumped our
clothes and chappals/shoes in travel bags which normally lie empty on the
loft. After a sumptuous lunch, which we
finished at 3:30pm, I dropped Ratnagirikars at HM, Santoor apartments. We
had booked a flat there for 24 of our guests,
5kms away from home. OYO rooms were working out very costly, we couldn’t get an empty
flat in our apartment complex and one which we got didn’t meet our expectations;
another empty flat in Nandi Gardens was without water and electricity as it
wasn’t used for many years with its owner (my friend) in the US; dormitories
available on Airbnb were far. While all this search was going on in
August/September a companion in my office cab,
Rayagond, came to the rescue and managed to get us a furnished flat for two nights in HM, Santoor, a bit far but very
comfortable. Our organising committee,
comprising two keeda-sisters Jyoti Gurav (Mai) and Shubhada Kavle (Tai), had told Harshada and
me not to buy any dry snacks. While
coming family members brought homemade chiwda, chakli, besan ladoo, moong ladoo
and bought kachori, farsan, lasun shev, fulwadi from Mumbai and bakarwadi from
Pune. The nashta/snack basket in which this was kept open for
consumption, must have been a solid 10-12kgs when it was filled.
When I need extra djembes for my drum-jamming sessions I
take them from Snehadhara
Foundation. They were closed due to
Diwali vacation. One of their employees, Arun, had come back just on the
same day my guests arrived (31st Oct). He helped me with 13 djembes in addition to my 15 odd. With these
djembes we had planned a jamming session in the evening but as all were tired
due to long travels we directly started the formal session of ‘Fishpond
and Felicitation’ in the evening at 7:30pm. We
46 gathered in our apartment’ community hall, women in sarees and men in
kurtas. Shubha Tai and Jyoti Mai took
the stage, welcomed all and invited Aai and Lata Kaki to light the lamp.
They kept the mood light by sharing traits of family members in a “fishpond” way. One family member was introduced this
way:
Devanand Award: “Friends, this award is very special and most honoured.
Maintaining yourself well in today's stressful life is no small feat. He
travels for his business and work, not in an AC car, but by various means such
as buses, boats, trains. Despite all
this hard work he looks very young, even today.
At the time of searching for a bride for their son's wedding in the near
future, the question is where to hide him so that the prospects do not
misunderstand him to be an alliance. The Devanand Award goes for such an
eternal personality and his name is …. :)”
There was a lot of hard work that had gone into creating this
script. Towards the end Dipa aka
Shraddha Kulkarni, my cousin from Ratnagiri, took the stage and succinctly
introduced seniors from the family. She invited different family members
to give away the fish-pond and Family Gaurav Puraskars (Family Eminence
Awards). A few awardees thanked other family members for organising such events
and get-togethers and for the awards that were conferred on them. There were peals of laughter and moistened
eyes in that formal environment. As I am inching towards my 50s they took
an opportunity to don a Puneri pheta (turban to be tied) on my
head and celebrate even that which was nowhere close to my birthdate. Everyone had become a cameraman and
camerawoman and our family WhatsApp group was flooding with pics and videos of
events which were happening. Amruta was our official photographer.
Jyoti Mai had brought many orange phetas from
Mumbai but due to lack of practice to tie them
on the heads we left all the heads without phetas. A 4kg choco-fantasy cake which I cut was
gobbled up in no time. It was time for
dinner. Women had cooked misal for
dinner. We bought pakka Bombay paav from
a chat vendor next to Big Market, opposite JP Nagar KIA5 bus stop. We
forgot the curd in the fridge, which someone realised a bit late. The juicy misal-paav
with farsan, onion, coriander and curd was a big
hit. I announced the schedule of the
next three days so that people could plan
accordingly. Four more Edwankars, two
Jomrajs and one Mhatre joined 13 Ratnagirikars
in a flat in HM, Santoor after a tiring day.
Narvekars chose to stay in OYO which
was 1.2km away but was not as they expected it to be. Though they wanted
to stay with us at home OYO wouldn’t give back
money for the days you’ve blocked the rooms.
1st November 2019, Special lunch, Drum-circle and Shopping:
You get the best of coffees opposite HM, Santoor.
Family members who stayed there had their breakfast there on 1st November while women at home cooked yummy and nutty sabudana khichdi. Edwankars went to Bannerghatta National Park
whereas Narvekars went to Lalbagh that morning.
They all joined for special lunch.
Chicken masala was cooked at home for 33 non vegetarians and paneer
butter masala was bought from Nammura for 14 vegetarians. Set dosa goes
well with chicken masala and pooris with paneer butter masala, which too
were bought from Nammura, now called Arogya
Ahara. He sells items in kilograms. We had bought quarter-quarter kgs of all
these samples and tried to our satisfaction. We had consciously chosen to
buy chapatis from North Karnataka Hotel as Nammura doesn't make the chapatis
the way we want. Women had prepared sour
kokam-saar
to complement with rice. I’d bought
special Mysore
Pak from UP Bhavan from my
office campus in Electronic City. All loved to have this sweet, though a
bit heavy to digest. This tasty lunch would be incomplete without
a decorated plate of 60 masala
paans with thandak, gulkand and
cherry.
Special Lunch
We had booked our apartment’ community hall for two days. The Ratnagiri gang, which was led by Anand in their journey, wanted to go to Sri Sri Ravishankar Ashram in the evening. So, we did a drum-circle
session for about 20, including the gang, before lunch in the community
hall. Drumming helps a
facilitator raise the energy of the participants in
no time because they are all in action. After intense drumming we did creative visualisation. It had touched a few very deeply, tears were rolling down
the cheeks of a few. This family gathering was not only helping get the
family together but also family-members get in touch with themselves. We
had one more drum-jamming session at about 5pm, which came out very different
from the one in the morning. We did
expansion-meditation after the energy rose to a peak in which we slowly expanded our awareness to touch the nothingness in the cosmos and returned.
Ready for a drum-jamming session
I had sent a list of Google-pins for 4-5
important shopping places in Gandhi Bazar and a few in Jayanagar. Family
members got into their respective Ola/Ubers and hit the places for
shopping. While Arnav stayed at home to
help seniors; Harshada, Chirantan and I accompanied three different groups of family members and helped them explore
maximum shops in minimum time because we had done homework of going to these
places and got to know them, their specialties with the help of my office
colleague who is a resident of that area. Many chose to walk on DVG road
and window shop local items. We few ate butter-gulkand a local recipe and reached the other end, towards Netkallappa
Circle, to eat South Indian specialties in a darshini
there. People loved the onion-uthappa,
masala dosa and the coffee. Seniors at
home had kokam-saar and bhaat (rice). Instructions were given to everybody to keep
their bags ready to go to Ankit Vista resort the next day as Mumbaikars were to go to the
airport directly from there and NH48 to Kolhapur-Mumbai was only 11 kms away
for Ratnagirikars to drive back home. Come what may, family members who
wanted to be part of this get-together came.
My nephew, Satej, finished his 3rd year engineering viva-voce, rushed to
Mumbai airport, flew to Bangalore and joined us
on the second day of the majestic gathering.
In fact, two families had suffered a personal loss of their close family
members; one a few weeks before and one just while entering the Mumbai airport
on the way to Bangalore. In spite of that, they joined us. From the confirmed
list, Rajan Vahini, my eldest sister-in-law,
could not join due to her recently developed medical condition and a niece from
Ratnagiri chose to stay at home.
Typically, winter in Bengaluru starts to set
in October and grows into November. We
had spoken to a vendor and had got an estimate
for mattress,
bedsheet, pillow, pillow cover, sheet to pullover and a blanket. He had
quoted Rs.75/- for a set without blankets and Rs.100/- with blankets. With three days remaining for the guests to arrive, rain not budging and winter setting in we went to this
vendor again. He noticed our desperation
and raised his rate to 150/- per set. We
ditched him and went to VPM Tents near Jayanagar 9th Block. We hired 16 sets of mattresses and related
items. There
were long spells of heavy rains during Diwali. It was pouring heavily
even when Anagha and family came from airport in
the wee hours of the
morning. The temperature had dropped to
17degC that night. But from the day our hot guests :) arrived the rain ran away,
the temperature was warm in the day and pleasant in the nights.
Evening Shopping at Gandhi Bazar
A few places which we explored that evening:
1) Kancheepuram
Handloom Silk https://maps.app.goo.gl/LwUPBo4Fb837TdYF8
2) Rajaram's https://maps.app.goo.gl/WbZ3FSiGMJKEARdU7
3) Mysore
Silk Showroom and Suvarna Fabrics in the basement https://maps.app.goo.gl/ojsP87r5c7913mrm7
4) Ladies
Wear House - Silks & Sarees https://maps.app.goo.gl/EGuhJTxnLAJRSd8s5
5) Sree
Leathers https://maps.app.goo.gl/tux3WzmCr6bdmcEx7
2nd November 2019, To Ankit Vista Resort:
The next morning after returning 13 djembes to Snehadhara
Foundation, we bought 8kgs of masala dosa (1kg fits 6 masala dosas), 1.5kgs of vada, ½ kg idly and 1kg chutney from Nammura
for breakfast. We ran out of chutney. A similar shortage had happened
with set-dosas we bought to eat with chicken the
day before.
Garlic chutney came out of the shelf and family finished their breakfast
with it. After a nice hot chai, (chai is a different
topic of discussion for my family which will need one whole page, I shall reserve
that for another blog post), we did a mammoth task of
clicking a family photo at home. We
started moving towards a 49-seater bus which
was taking us to Ankit Vista resort. The
bus driver Imran was not confident of bringing the bus inside the apartment
complex even after Anand and Ashish
from our “Ratnagiri-department-of-vehicles-experts” tried to convince him. They dumped all the bags in
their cars and took them to the bus 200m away, which was parked near the
apartment entrance. We did formalities
of breaking a coconut after circling it over the bus and cars for a safe
journey.
A group
pic before starting for Ankit Vista.
VPM Tent’ van wouldn’t come on 2nd Nov, which we were
waiting for, to return 16sets of mattresses and accompanying items. We
told the bus and two other cars to start off at 11:30am while
Ashish’s and my cars started after the rented things were given back at about
11:45am. I had three seasoned senior
citizens in my car. Sunil Bhauji, a
professional goldsmith, shared some
experiential tidbits from his childhood and Dr. Kaka would add an affirmation about knowing those relatives, friends and places which Sunil
Bhauji was mentioning. I shared my bits of how a spiritual guru,
Anant Prabhu Walawalkar, had foretold my connection
with Bangalore and how I got placed three
months after his telling in Bharat Electronics, Bangalore. The bus and four cars reached Ankit Vista one after the other at
1:30pm. The bus was too big to take us till our rooms, in Shakti Courtyard dormitory. We
took a while to settle as Ankit Vista staff helped us lug our luggage from the
closest point in the Ankit Vista football ground to the Shakti Courtyard. We as a family of 4 and Pappa had visited
Ankit Vista more than a month ago to get a feel of how the place is. We liked, actually loved their dormitory the
way it was. It had two huge rectangular
rooms housing 20 single-beds each and two legs
which connects these two had washbasins,
toilets and bathrooms. There was a huge sit out outside these dormitories where
chairs were arranged along the periphery of the space with a 3 + 2 seater cane
furniture. We ate lunch in our pilot trip to Ankit Vista, had not liked
it much and had given this feedback to the manager. When we found that the dorms were on the 1st
floor we booked two rooms without a bathtub in
the ground floor for our seniors, especially those who needed assistance. Our friend Rajiv Radhakrishna helped us
negotiate hard on rates at Ankit Vista. When Harshada and I gave a ‘go’ for hosting, in Mumbai at Anna Kaka’s place,
we didn’t know what we are getting into, we had no idea of how many of our
family members would turn
up. Our learning was when we take up
something big, something that mind cannot crunch and calculate, unconditional
help pours from people like Rajiv and Rayagond from unexpected corners. The budget would have gone totally haywire
without them. Sincere thanks to them.
Given a chance, a child in us is ready to pop
out :)
We being the biggest group at Ankit Vista that day, had a
preference to choose our menu for lunch, evening high tea,
snacks, dinner and next day’s breakfast. Lunch at Ankit Vista was spicy,
there was a chilly spice in each grain of rice of veg biryani. The quality of lunch had risen quite a bit as
compared to our pilot visit’ lunch. We
immediately told the kitchen to reduce the spice for dinner. The non-vegetarians from us told that the non-veg items were good.
After lunch we had a siesta. The
foam in the beds was emitting heat and it was difficult to sleep, still we
caught up with a nap. Some tower fans had to be added to dorms to help
increase the coverage of moving fresh air inside. Swapnil, a staff there, and his mates helped
us on every call we did to change a commode seat, add fans, increase the number
of cots, and fix cold water coming from gas geysers.
Evening was fresh at 5:30pm and we had high tea with onion pakodas
and bread pakodas. The rain-dance’ shed was waiting
for us. We quickly changed and got into
dancing in the sprays of different temperature. The floor was abrasive
enough to avoid a fall while dancing but wasn’t good
to dance barefoot. Swapnil put different
Marathi and Hindi dance numbers and before we knew the dark had set in.
We wiped and dried ourselves in our dorms. I felt like pulling out my 14”
African djembe and started playing garba
beats on it. I had carried 20-25 pairs of dandiyas, which
I use in my drum-jamming sessions. They slowly came out of the bag and
people formed one big circle on the beats of garba. We have many amateur musicians in family in
the form of tabaljis and singers. They
picked different instruments available.
With Dr.Ravi Anna, Nayan Bandhu, Arnav, Anna Kaka and others accompanying on different percussion, the rhythm
section ensured that family members danced till they dropped. Sunil
Bhauji and Mai could not contain themselves on the ground floor. They climbed some 20 steps and joined the
beats. Madhavi Tai took the avtaar of
Maa Manju; Teja Tai and Didi impersonated the possessed Devi Aai by going round
and round from their waist with their hair let loose, others mocked being their
bhakts. We were rolling on the ground
with our stomachs aching due to non-stop laughter. After a few
slow-to-crescendo cycles of drumming and various dance movements we moved on to
solo singing by Shubha Akka, Priyanka (my daughter-in-law), Mangal Mai,
Geetanjali, Dipa and Abhishek. They sang
laavni, jaagar (songs that indicate something that always stays
awake inside us) and gondhal
type of traditional Marathi songs. It
was 9:30pm when dinner was waiting for us in Trupti Woods, a well-lit and
decorated wooden dining area. With tune
of last song lingering on our minds we reached the dining area. It was a
delicious dinner and neer
dosa was the special
attraction. The dining area was practically filled up by my family members. During lunch and dinner various boxes of
Mysore Pak, Besan Ladoos and Kaju Katli from home were doing rounds on
different tables and they were finding takers, including other guests at Ankit
Vista. Our howls, roars, shrill voices,
whistles and music had disturbed one family in Shakti Courtyard, on the ground floor. But then they also came
upstairs and enjoyed the garba and songs.
We didn’t want to disturb them consciously but the sounds of our
presence was overpowering the whole of Ankit Vista. Dry snacks had to be packed in a plastic
gunny bag properly to avoid attracting rodents in the night.
Dormitory at Ankit Vista
Ankit Vista staff had set bonfire and chairs around it for
us in the plot next to Shakti Courtyard as they didn’t
want our oldies to go far, where they usually light it. Fire was lit at
around 11pm. Priyanka and Aditya led us
all into playing a game of housie and then started ghost stories one after the other, with effects of creaking sounds and
hisses in the quietude of the night. With ghost stories from the older
ones to the recent ones, family finished two packets of a smaller version of 5-Star Cadbury chocolates
which I’d left outside instead of packing them in the gunny bag. Three dogs
from Ankit Vista campus joined us with their growls to listen to our spooky
ghost stories. This show was stolen by Teja Tai. Her entry with a new story after someone
else’s was over, the variation in her voice,
ability to make different sounds with actions kept us glued and ask for
more. We retired into our dormitories at about 1:00am.
Bonfire with scary ghost stories
3rd November 2019, Back Home:
Party gown and formals were meant to be on the night of
Saturday, 2nd November, but due to our elongated schedule of dance and dandiya
we postponed it to the 3rd morning. Ratnagirikars wanted to go early so
that they reach Ratnagiri at a reasonable time. We woke up at 7:00am and had bed tea at about
8:00am. Many ate dry snacks that we had
brought. We got ready and went for breakfast at 9:00am. Bread Toast, Poori-bhaaji, Poha, Coconut
Chutney, Kesari Bhat, Upma, Tea and Coffee were waiting for us. Women were in colourful party gowns and
sarees. Mobile cameras started doing overtime job as groups started
gathering as sisters-only, co-sisters-only, brothers-in-law-only and
such. The position and the angles the photographers were taking to accommodate
all of us was a sight to watch.
My great
11 sisters out of the super 13!
Family
photo!
After a jumbo family pic we started wrapping up. There
was never a shortage of helping hands to wind up things after any event. Many
were thanking Harshada and me for the wonderful program. Blessings, Love
and Grace were an integral part of this whole unfolding and it was clear that
this program was happening more than anyone doing it. Many sisters said
that they experienced this type of ‘maaherpan’ (माहेरपण
: a warmth that mother gives when her daughter is back from her husband’s home)
for the first time. One sister even told Harshada that from today you are
not my sister-in-law, you have become my own sister. Whenever you need a shoulder to rest your
head on, do call on me. One sister said, “Some debts (ऋण) are such that one should not be free of them. It's better to be indebted by them.” Our boys, Harshada and I had and have so many
blessings from my family that if I deposit all those blessings in a bank Fixed
Deposit, we can pull off such programs just on the interest of those.
14 Ratnagirikars left first in their three cars on a really long drive of 850kms. Ankit Vista
staff helped load our luggage into the bus and it started for Bangalore Airport
at 11:15am. Harshada, Chirantan and Arnav were in the bus with 20 more
who were heading to Mumbai by 14:50hrs flight. Komal, my daughter-in-law
was flying to Pune; Pappa and Anna Kaka to
Udupi. After dropping them, Harshada
took the remaining gang of ten back home on
the same bus. I was in our car with Dr.Kaka, Sunil Bhauji and Mai. This
time, on the way back, it was my turn to share stories of my trips to Kailash Mansarovar,
Girnar, Kumbh
Mela, and the influence of
people like Guruji Vinay
Vinekar, Pt.Shyamkant Barve, Isha Yoga,
Rajesh
Pardeshi, Moksh Linga and my GBS experience. We 4 reached home at 1:30pm. Harshada helped order uthappa and idly for us
from Swiggy from her bus. The bus
reached home at 4:00pm. I went in the
car to the apartment entrance to bring the luggage from the bus.
At home we were 14 now. 33 had left. We were not in a mood to cook food. In
the four days that our family was with us we had
struck a balance between the type of food
cooked at home, food bought from outside and menu we chose at Ankit Vista to
maintain variety. While I was gathering different simple musical
instruments for one more jamming session Chirantan-Arnav ordered Mojo pizza for
14 of us. Chirantan held beat for us
with a mesmerising flow of chords on his acoustic guitar. We dabbled with
boomwhackers (tuned plastic pipes) and then moved to cymbals, dandiya,
tambourine, sound-shapes, djembes each, and each one playing something rhythmic
that merged into Chiru’s progression of chords.
A beautiful music got created which we enjoyed for some time and ended in
the resonance of a Tibetan
singing bowl. Pizza
arrived just when we were hungry. We ate
to our heart’s content. An important thing that family always
complements is
no-wastage-of-food. There were times
when food was leftover which we gave to apartment security guards but there
were no half-eaten plates left. Harshada
and I made best use of google-keep, a collaborative to-do list software. We used to
take a pic of Pappa’s to-do list and paste it into google-keep as well. Especially
in the last two
weeks it helped us in follow ups on innumerable things which otherwise would
have been impossible to manage.
This get-together connected four generations. This was a program
which helped us, a family of four, being far away from Maharashtra for
more than two decades, connect deeply with the rest of our family
members. Members who had never hit the
dance floor had joined us in rain-dance. Our son-in-law Suraj had become
extremely comfortable with us. Hidden percussion talent shone on Nayan
Bandhu and it was heartening to see him soak in it. There were no lessons
of relationship given, it was a field where flowering of relations was
happening. There were warmth in the hands which shook, moistness in the eyes
which saw off each other and tears rolled down in the hugs. Inclusion,
joy and fulfillment were happening;
quietly. What would one do if she or he was expecting their 40+ loved ones come home? That is exactly what we
did to make our family's stay comfortable and memorable. Grace was with us,
it was dancing with us and it had undoubtedly taken over this whole
happening. We were beautifully witnessing it! Our neighbours gave compliments that our
guests were very organised. And our
guests passed on a thanking note to our apartment neighbours for bearing with
us for those three days.
A week before the program, I told my spiritual master Rajesh
Pardeshi, and incidentally my engineering batchmate, to bless this get-together. I told him “Stage is set
for a get-together of about 48 family members from 31st October to 3rd
November. Harshada and I seek your
blessings.” He said, “Of course, it will be a joy for everyone, in the
end that is what counts, nothing else, no matter what. The greatest joy explodes in service to
others, accommodating everything and everyone. All the auspiciousness and
joy. Just go with the flow.” And this is exactly what happened.
What we couldn’t do was 1) A few wanted to go to our children's school CFL,
which they had heard about so much from us since the last 13 years and which
was not far from Ankit Vista. We couldn’t go there due to our packed
schedule. 2) We were 11 sisters and 5
brothers. Bhaubij
was celebrated only a few days ago. We wanted to
have sisters apply the scented powder (ubtan), massage brothers well and give a
hot water bath followed by an arti. We
couldn’t do this as our fun was running against time. 3) We didn’t find
time to jump into Ankit Vista’s swimming pool.
4) We couldn’t have Dr.Ravi Anna play keyboard and play games he had
planned. Knowing the history of breast
cancer in the family, he wanted to share the importance of yearly mammography
for the women in the family. 4) We wanted to do the akhanda naamasmaran of Swami Samarth for an hour
(uninterrupted recitation of “Shri Guru Swami Samartha Jay Jay Swami Samartha,
Maharaj Shri Guru Swami Samartha Jay Jay Swami Samartha”, in various tunes) but
that also eluded us. 5) We couldn’t go to Cauvery Emporium to explore Karnataka
Handicrafts due to paucity of time.
There were so many things that we did and so many that we couldn’t.
There were many things that we could have done better.
We could have pushed the mattress pickup van to come earlier, knowing that
Sarakki Signal, where we stay, is notorious on Saturdays. With that we could
have reached Ankit Vista an hour earlier.
Web-checkin was not done in advance and four
family members had to wait outside the boarding area as the flight was
overbooked. Good that they got seats at the last moment in the same
flight. I was expecting a 49-seater AC
bus to go from home to Ankit Vista and to airport from there, but a non-AC one
turned up. There were many such shortfalls which family quietly
absorbed.
“Reached home” WhatsApp messages started coming in from
Mumbai, Udupi and Pune. Ratnagirikars reached at 5:00am the next
day. Sunil Bhauji and family left
Bangalore on 5th November. On 6th Chinmay gave us the good news of the divine arrival of
our 93rd family member, my granddaughter.
Dr.Kaka and Kaki left on 7th and Didi on 9th
November. Everybody has got back to their routine, just that a silken
thread which had held us together has gotten us closer to each other and to
ourselves.
The intent of this writing was to instigate a “sulemani
keeda” (itch, a crazy urge) in you, the
reader, to try to get your families
together. There is no joy like such a hosting. It's like becoming an
unconditional mother to your own people for a few days which opens up a
beautiful space in you!
10 Organising Takeaways:
- Stick to the cooked food estimate of 333gms
for meals and 225gms of breakfast per person. The art is in breaking down these into
correct quantity of chapati, sabji, dal, rice, dessert and idly, chutney
etc.
- Visit all the places where you want to take
your group to and mentally walk with them through these places. You will land up cancelling a few of
these places from your list or will make alterations to accommodate a few
new things for needs of the group members.
E.g. when we went to Ankit Vista we found that the dormitory is on
the first floor and our oldies wouldn't be able to climb the steps. We booked two rooms for them with tap/showers
(without bathtub) in the bathroom. When we saw the 49 seater bus, we
carried a stool to create a baby step to get into the bus.
- Many people don't read your messages/emails
fully. If you want to ask or tell
anything important, pick up the phone and talk to them.
- While ordering multiple items on different
dates from the same vendor, ensure that they don't swap and give dosas on
the day you wanted medu vada and vice versa. Verify the delivery date details and the
list of items on the advance payment receipt.
- Negotiate hard in places like resorts. 10% discount is the minimum you should
get. If the resort is far away be
sure to note where the closest hospital or doctor is. Carry a basic medical kit.
- You can't satisfy everyone's needs. Learn to say NO genuinely and gently;
and justify when really required.
- You alone can't do everything. When people are around, judge what they
can do and delegate. Stay flexible
in your expectations.
- Your willingness and enthusiasm will drive
the show. Any crack in willingness
will show up. If you are taking
such a project, throw yourself completely into it.
- Plan the get-together day-wise and
activity-wise. Have a mix of formal
and informal sessions. Have Plan-B
where required. Involve children,
they will surprise you.
- Make liberal use of e-tools like WhatsApp,
Google-sheets, Google-keep, calendar-reminders for coordination,
communication and checklists.
Appendix:
1) Sri
Venkateshwara Hotel, J P Nagar 7th Phase: +91-9900873715, +91-8792891307 (for
North Karnataka food)
2) North
Karnataka Foods, Near Pattabhi Rama Temple, Jayanagar: +91-9448489840
3) Arogya
Ahaara, 9th Cross, J P Nagar: +91-9448090152, +91-8277891811 (food in
kilograms)
4) Varsha
Vanpal: +91-9742814239 (best Maharashtrian food, on a costlier side)
5) UP Bhavan
Sweets:+91-9980196722, http://www.upbhavansweets.in/
6) Vinod
Pav-wala, J P Nagar 6th Phase: +91-9036706248, +91-9110627985
7) New Holige
Mane, 2nd Main, Jayanagar 7th Block: +91 9980013289, +91-9743433640 (for
variety of puran polis)
8) Rajesh
Paanwala, 9th Cross, J P Nagar: +91-9742172470
Our brief programme structure was as follows:
31Oct, Thu:
Arrival at home by 1pm
1pm: Lunch and rest
5-6pm: Drum jamming session
6-9pm: Fishpond and Felicitation
9-10pm: Cake cutting and Dinner
1st Nov, Fri:
9am: Tea and chit-chat
10am: Breakfast
1pm: Non-veg Lunch
2pm: Interested people go for sightseeing (list mentioned below)
5pm: Interested people go for shopping to Gandhi Bazar
9pm: Simple dinner. Shoppers eat at popular Gandhi Bazar eateries
10pm: Pack bags for next day outing
2nd Nov, Sat:
8am: Bath and breakfast
10am :Start for Ankit Vista (https://www.ankitvista.com/)
resort in a private bus with bags
(we take Ratnagiri’ cars and our car also)
12pm: Reach Ankit Vista and settle
1pm: Lunch
2-5pm: Indoor games, Swimming, Rain-dance
5pm: High Tea
6-9pm: Cultural Evening
9pm: Dinner
10pm: Bonfire and Ghost stories
3rd Nov, Sun:
8am: Bath and breakfast
11am: Mumbai/Pune-family start for Airport by private bus (Bangalore
team goes to drop them)
11am: Ratnagiri-family head to NH4 (11km)
11am: Car takes a few back home
Sightseeing places you could go by Ola/Uber
1. Music Museum https://www.indianmusicexperience.org/
(4km, 15mins)
2. Sri Sri Ravishankar Ashram (11km, 30mins)
3. Bangalore Palace (14km, 1+hr)
4. HAL Aeroplane Museum (19km, 1.5hr)
